Sunday, March 19, 2006

People Will Spend Money on Anything

A while back we got a fabulous little piece of junk mail in the way of a Harriet Carter catalog. Since I'm always on the lookout for the perfect gifts for the various loved ones in our lives, I decided to peruse the catalog.

And I'm so glad I did.

There is some amazingly craptacular stuff in this catalog! As I looked through it, I just laughed and laughed. I was in tears by the time I turned to the last page. Below are some of my favorite items.

as seen on

$14.98 (2 for $28.50)
Eye-Catching "Tree Face" puts a friendly smile in your yard! Realistically rendered in textured "bark", this set of facial features is sure to charm all who pass by. Your "cheery" tree will become the talk of the neighborhood! Eyes, nose and mouth are each approximately 4" with attached hangers.

Friendly? More like creepy. Trees shouldn't have faces. And you betcha your tree will become the talk of the neighborhood...and possibly an item for discussion on the agenda of the next HOA meeting.

$9.98 Now $5.50 Now 2 for $10.50
Look how time flies! Friends, family, co-workers - they'll all be laughing when they see this crazy novelty clock whizzing through the air with its wings flapping and its hands spinning furiously around the dial! Suspend from any ceiling with included hardware, give it a gentle push and watch time fly! Not a working timepiece - this one is just for laughs. 5" H with 13" wingspan. Uses 2 AA batteries (not included).

My favorite thing about this one is that the clock doesn't actually work.

is an essential tool for the home stylist! Cape resembles an inverted umbrella to catch clippings as you trim, so neck, clothes and floor are protected. Special upturned “lip” along outer edge contains loose hairs until you’re ready to discard them, saves you time during clean-up—no tedious sweeping or vacuuming needed! Slips over head and secures with self-close tabs; adjusts to fit neck size. Folds to store. Nylon. 22" diam.

Reminds me of the lamp shade collars that dogs get to keep them from licking wounds.

Slimming Shapers™ smooth the way to a trimmer-looking figure! Clothes will fit better as trouble spots are minimized. Control begins just below your bra to just above the knee. Well-placed support panels provide extra lift exactly where you want it most, without binding. Nylon/Spandex blend. Order by hip size: Small (34-38"), Med. (36-42"), Large (40-46"), XL (44-50"), XXL (48-54"). Imported.

Is anyone else convinced that the models are two different people?

This one's not on the web any more, but fortunately I had clipped the item from the print catalog. The clip-art before and after pictures are so convincing I ordered three of them!


Flawed & Disorderly said...

Ha ha ha! There are so many funny things here that I don't know where to start. For one thing, I've just added the word "craptacular" to my personal lexicon. Secondly, that actually is the same woman in both pictures. I know this because it's me. And thirdly, I think it's hilarious that you not only took the time to evaluate the pictures, but you also read the descriptions. I have those faces for all my trees AND bushes. Should I be ashamed?

lynn said...

Jennifer, before you add craptacular, you need to give credit where credit is due. Ladybug steels all of my good words:)