Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Good ol' home cookin'

A gourmet chef I am not. My favorite, well-used cookbook is called, "Desperation Dinners: Home-cooked meals for frantic families in 20 minutes flat." I have two friends who absolutely adore cooking and baking and have wonderful blogs detailing their various creations complete with yummy pictures that make me want to grab a fork and stab the monitor in an attempt to get a taste. Sadly, I am not one of these people and tonight's dinner was great evidence of that.

First on the menu was going to be chicken caesar tortellini salad, which consists of green leaf lettuce, three-cheese tortellini, pre-cooked southwest chicken strips (I hate dealing with raw poultry unless absolutely necessary), light caesar dressing, and freshly grated parmesan cheese. The lettuce was about a week old, wilted and browning, so I threw it out.

Then I thought I would make home-made pizza, so I pulled out the Boboli thin crust, put it on the pizza stone, preheated the oven to 450° (relying on my oven thermometer and not the thermostat), pulled out the bottled pizza sauce, and went looking for the mozzarella cheese, only to find we had none. For a very brief moment I considered using the Mexican blend cheese we had, but thought better.

I bagged up the pizza crust and went on to plan number three - boil the tortellini and make spaghetti sauce using the seasoning packet and an 8 ounce can of tomato sauce. Well, unless you really like the flavor of junior high cafeteria spaghetti sauce, I do not recommend creating your spaghetti sauce this way. For the record, when I do make spaghetti, I use my mom's recipe, which is much fancier and thicker than tomato sauce with some spices thrown in. I poured the spaghetti sauce down the drain and desperation set in.

I had tortellini already cooked, drained, and sitting waiting for the right sauce. I went hunting through the fridge trying to find a suitable complement to the pasta. Mayonnaise? No. Ketchup? Ugh. BBQ Sauce? Are you nuts? My eyes finally settled on a small jar of pesto tucked into a corner of the fridge. I scooped a quarter cup into a bowl, added a tablespoon of water, stirred to mix it up, and then threw it on top of the tortellini. I added the freshly grated parmesan cheese, and voila! We had dinner. It was quite yummy, though I know it wasn't the healthiest thing I could have made.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

People will buy anything, part deux

From costco.com -

TimeMug is a fusion of fashion and function. Ideal for both hot and cold beverages, the 16oz capacity and cup holder-friendly shape makes for a perfect companion on the go.

TimeMug has an airtight, liquid-tight and heat resistant seal engineered to protect the Swiss movement timepiece. TimeMug also features a rubber-sealing lid, slide tab, stainless steel interior and a non-slip, scratch-resistant base.

Set of two, 16oz TimeMugs
Colors: Apple Green and Christian Blue, Aria Pink and Paloma Purple or Alfonso Black and Original Clear
Top rack dishwasher safe, hand washing recommended

The colors are reminiscent of the ipod Minis. Why it's useful to have a clock inside your travel coffee mug will always remain a mystery to me.

A remarkable 5.08 ct princess cut one-of-a-kind diamond ring in a platinum tiffany setting.
Princess cut
Weight: 5.08 ct
Clarity: Internally Flawless (IF)
Color: Near Colorless (G)
Available in size 7; sizeable to any size (Costco does not provide this service)
This diamond comes with a Summation Of Appraisal certificate from the International Gemological Institute (IGI). This is to certify that the diamond described above is genuine, and has been independently examined in the laboratories of IGI.

What amazes me about this ring is that it carries a price tag of $86,999.99! I understand the rarity of such a large cut diamond being internally flawless, but my word. $86,999.99 would feed a lot of starving people!

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Fine porcelain plastic

I have a pair of plastic sunglasses. On the inside of one earpiece is printed the following sentence, "Hand Polished China."

They're really light sunglasses to be made of china.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Best laid plans...

I spent an hour this evening diligently making out next week's lunch and dinner menus, planning my grocery list, clipping coupons, reviewing www.grocerygame.com to find the best deals, adding items to my Splash Shopper PDA software, only to arrive at Wal Mart and find that I had left the PDA in the synch cradle at home.


While standing in line at Wal Mart this evening, I saw the following headline on the TV in the checkout line.

"White House mulls over regulating plant emissions."

I thought oxygen was good for the environment.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

More Great Pregnancy T-Shirts


well, this was the only one that really impressed me, though there were some other funny ones out there. I grew weary of looking pretty quickly.

People Say the Dumbest Things

My poor coworker is 9 months pregnant. She's nearly 6 feet tall, and from the back you would never know she was about to be in labor at some point in the near future (she's due 4/15).

In the last month I have heard coworkers say the following to her:

"You're still here?" in an incredulous voice (no, I'm really invisible and you're hallucinating again)
"You're so BIG!" (yeah, every woman wants to hear this one. Someone did NOT read Dale Carnegie's book, How to Win Friends and Influence People)
"I want to see how big you are now!" (see comment above)

My word, people...didn't your mom teach you that if you don't have something kind to say, don't say anything?

I have a feeling I'm going to be a very mean, irritable, snappy, says-what-she-thinks-when-she-thinks-it pregnant woman some day. I am so ordering this shirt, too.


Monday, April 03, 2006

Weekend Observations # 2

I was attempting to pet a sun conure in a petstore this weekend. A man observing me says, “I’m getting away, his beak looks sharp. The same man 5 minutes later says, “How much are they?” $399.99 was the reply from the store clerk. The man said, “I’ll give you $350 for it right now.” Umm…ok. I don't think you need a bird, mister.

We drove past a nail salon on our way back to my parents' house from dinner. The marquee out front said, “We have friendly nail techs.” I guess that was probably more effective than, "Our nail techs are rude."

Fazoli’s is now hiring smiles.

Here is what is printed on my my chopsticks wrapper.

On one side - "Welcome to Chinese Restaurant. Please try your Nice Chinese Food With Chopsticks the traditional and typical of Chinese glonous history and cultural."

On the other side - "Learn how to use your chopsticks. Tuk under tnurnb and held firmly. Add second chcostick and hold it as you hold a pencil. Hold tirst chopstick in original position move the second one up and down now you can pick up anything:"