Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas!

In my stocking was a Burt's Bees outdoor survival kit. One of the items inside that kit was a bottle of "The Defender" Herbal Insect Repellent. On the side of the bottle label it says, "Burt's Bees Herbal Insect Repellent is safe enough to apply with confidence to children and pets." The very next line says, "Not tested on animals."

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Baby Moses

I bought a Moses basket from Wal Mart for $25 plus shipping to use instead of a bassinette, since we don't really have the room for one.

I am very disappointed to say that the instructions tell me to "Keep basket away from running or standing water."

HELLO! It's a MOSES basket! Do they not know the story?

Monday, December 11, 2006

More instructions for dummies...

My South Beach Diet frozen dinner included the following directions on the box.

Who does that?! Here, honey, suck on a frozen piece of chicken breast!


Well no kidding, I just took it out of the HOT microwave!

I'm sad because I know there really are some people in the world that are THAT DUMB.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Chopped and Screwed!

I'm officially old. I had never heard this term until today. I downloaded a beautiful version of O Come, O Come Emmanuel from iTunes. It's by The Martins and is on their Light of the World album. And I went to play it, when it started skipping! It's digital, why is it skipping?! So I started searching the iTunes site for troubleshooting help and found this:

"A purchased song sounds bad.
If a specific song purchased from the iTunes Store sounds bad, please follow the steps below to submit the problem directly to Apple. Hip-Hop lovers: Make sure your song is not a "chopped and screwed" version. If there is an issue at a certain point in the song, to expedite your request, please tell us the time code where the problem appears."

I'm thankful they had the link to Wikipedia for the definition!

"Chopped and screwed (also known as screwed and chopped, slowed and throwed, Houston music, H-Town music, screw music, and screw) all refer to a technique of remixing hip hop music by slowing the tempo and applying various DJ techniques such as skipping beats, record scratching, stop-time, and sending portions of the music through stand-alone effects to make a "chopped-up" version of the original."

It did make me laugh that they had to put the Hip Hop disclaimer in their "song sounds bad" troubleshooting section.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Lost in Transit...

'Tis the season for online shopping, fa la la la la.....
When you're 8 months pregnant, the idea of dealing with hordes of people at the mall, or just walking through the mall is enough to make you crazy. So this year I've resorted to a lot of gift cards and online shopping.

Today, I received one of the many things I've ordered. Inside the box that contained the goods I ordered was a catalog, and inside the catalog was a slip of paper that held this customer service information.

"UPS Claims and Lost Packages:

If your package is lost in transit, please call us and we will track your package for you. If the package cannot be found, we can file a claim for the cost of the contents and send you a replacement."

I'm pretty sure that if my package were to be lost in transit, that helpful little slip of paper would have been lost right along with it.