Thursday, January 24, 2008

Bored? Read your town's police blotter.

Some of my favorites...

1/13/2008 12:04:00AM Brief Narrative: 08004363 ELDORADO PKWY / RESEARCH RD
A known subject was found to be operating a motor vehicle while intoxicated due to a
traffic stop.

So the traffic stop caused the subject to become intoxicated? My 7th grade English teacher would have a hey-day (hay day?) with this one.

1/13/2008 9:37:00AM Brief Narrative: 08004462 5000 BLK LEBEAU LN
Unknown person(s) removed four wheels and tires from a vehicle without effective consent.

1/14/2008 11:28:00AM Brief Narrative: 08004793 2000 BLK DEL LARGO WAY
An unknown subject spray painted on the victim's brick home without consent.

The ones where they say, "without consent," just make me laugh. I have these visions of the thief knocking on the door and saying, "Excuse me, sir, do you mind if I remove your tires and wheels? Or spray paint your bricks?"

1/13/2008 10:50:00AM Brief Narrative: 08004482 11000 BLK ROGERS RD
Unknown actor(s) spray painted lengthy inscriptions on the exterior of both the public restroom facilities and the concession stand at Warren Sports Complex using pink spray paint.

I love that they included the color of the spray paint.

1/13/2008 3:33:00PM Brief Narrative: 08004540 7000 BLK PRESTON RD
Unknown white male pumped $112.43 worth of fuel and left the location without making any attempts to pay. Texas license plate returns to a stolen 1995 Ford F-150.


1/13/2008 413:00PM Brief Narrative: 08004541 12000 BLK PENICK WAY Unknown actor(s) spray painted "stop war" on victim's fence.

The use of the term "actor(s)" amuses me. I envision C-grade Hollywood movie actors making political statements.

1/13/2008 5:40:00PM Brief Narrative: 08004553 3000 BLK PRESTON RD
An unknown subject stole radio out of vehicle without owner's consent.

Another "without consent." Still cracks me up.

1/14/2008 10:09:00AM Brief Narrative: 08004770 2000 BLK HAGUE DR
An unknown subject forced entry into a home under construction and took a cabinet and bath fixture.

Ok, seriously. Who does this? A weekend warrior affected by the recession? Uh oh, honey...we're out of money for our bathroom remodel project and I still need a cabinet and bath fixture. Any ideas?

1/14/2008 1:53:00PM Brief Narrative: 08004828 7000 BLK EUBANKS ST
Unknown male subjects broke into vehicle and stole victim's stereo and other items.

Ok, I admit that this one isn't terribly funny unless you know my friend Lynn, and her bad luck with her cars, and the fact that not only was her radio stolen from her Honda Civic, but the entire panel, including the whole air conditioning unit in the front of the car, was removed!

1/14/2008 6:17:00PM Brief Narrative: 08004892 3000 BLK AUTUMN LN
Unknown subjects took lumber from construction site and drove away in red Ford van with red 16' trailer.

Subtle getaway car, no?

1/15/2008 8:35:00AM Brief Narrative: 08005152 12000 BLK EDEN LN
An unknown subject(s) took windows from a home under construction.

Again...who does this? What is the black market like for house parts???

1/16/2008 7:56:00AM Brief Narrative: 08005402 9000 BLK WADE BLVD
Unknown subject(s) took scaffolding from construction site without consent.

*sigh* What IS it with theft from construction sites?

1/16/2008 8:44:00AM Brief Narrative: 08005424 7000 BLK HICKORY ST
Unknown person(s) stole the gas out of the victim's truck without his consent.

HOW does a person do this? Seems like stealing it from the pump would be more pleasant?

1/16/2008 2:20:00PM Brief Narrative: 08005520 11000 BLK RESEARCH RD
Actor used City of Carrollton water meter to interrupt the public water supply.

I am having a hard time visualizing this one.

1/16/2008 2:32:00PM Brief Narrative: 08005528 5000 BLK TOWN & COUNTRY BLVD
Subject ordered pizza and did not pay for it.

Do you suppose it was a crank call?

1/16/2008 3:32-OOPM Brief Narrative: 08005552 10000 BLK BYRON DR
Unknown suspects took property from the victim's porch without permission.

I'm dying to know what the property was that was stolen. A swing? A plant? Giant concrete lions? If you are wanting the latter, I know where you can get two of them for free, you just have to be able to remove them from my inlaws' front porch. They'll give you permission, I promise.

1/16/2008 3:33:00PM Brief Narrative: 08005553 13000 BLK HONEY GROVE DR
Unknown actor took victims bicycle while it was parked in the bicycle rack at Pierce Elementary.

Aww, now that's just sad. Don't steal a kid's bike!

And for a couple that could have been prevented - consider this my PSA (Public Service Announcement):

1i16/2008 8A9.'00AM Brief Narrative: 08005428 12000 BLK 423 FM
Unknown subject(s) took victim's purse from her grocery cart without her consent.

Ladies, watch your purses. If you are going to put it in the grocery cart, do two things. Zip or snap it shut, and take the child safety strap and buckle it through a handle. It makes it a lot harder for someone to steal your purse that way. I can't tell you the number of times I have seen a woman standing five feet away from her cart, while her unzipped purse sits in the seat of the basket with the wallet in plain view.

1/14/2008 4:44:00PM Brief Narrative: 08004874 4000 BLK PRESTON RD
Unknown suspect took victim's driver license and credit cards out unlocked car in the parking lot of 24 Hour Fitness.

PEOPLE! LOCK YOUR CARS!!! And don't leave that stuff in your car!

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